After a while.. (Part Une)

What brought me here again?

My last post was published about a month before my wedding day. And today I am so established-ly married, heavily pregnant, changed job and pretty much settled at my good-view beautiful condo. I am also, sooo fat.

Where have I gone to? Should I say I’ve been busy?

Yes, very.

Been very busy that I simply couldn’t allocate any minute for this blog..?

Nope, that’s wrong.

I simply not up to writing. To blog. Y’know, something like that.

That pulls me back to my question, what brought me here??

Okay, you see, it’s the feeling. That feeling to write, to express, and to look back at it printed online as if it’s a monument. When it’s read again, it feels like looking into the life journal of a perfect stranger, which is ourselves. Besides craving for cakes, cookies, loads and loads of chocolate, ikan patin masak tempoyak or anything that I’ve been having these days, I crave this. Blogging.

I’ve been thinking about this since last night.

Well then, hello me! How am I? I’m good, thanks. Okay let’s just run through a quick update. I am me, still me, married and for these past few months I’ve gained weight. A lot of it, 15 kg to be exact as of time of writing. (Just weighed myself yesterday)

I’m in my 36th week, I’m hungry, always, my condition doing much better than the last 4,5 months. I live in Damansara now, with my husband and my precious womb, also with our diabetic maid which has to be sent back to Indon, for good.

I am now working at new workplace, which I have joined for over 2 months. It’s a book publisher, and the going is so far so cool. ( I am promoted here, better figure on payslip too):)

I eat bars of chocolates like they’re peanuts (oh I’ve mentioned that somehow), I no longer drive to anywhere (tummy too big, no room in between steering wheel), I have swollen feet and my back ache is killing me. Good sleep has been a good ol’ distant memory to me.

Yes folks, I’m pregnant! There are moments when I feel like giving myself a nudge and say, “hey u’re about to be a mommy” and got some more “ so stop being bloody crazy” some more “ and lazy”. Then suddenly I feel, wow.. it feels like yesterday I was 21 and still studying and going clubbing and all. Today I’m about to become a mother of someone. That’s such an overwhelming feeling okay.. nothing in the world could beat that..not even that quiet sinking feeling during your akad nikah all comes second now..not even Beat TV.. nothing..

I am fat, and people say I look good being in this condition. Yes I know what you’re thinking, people just want to please me given the patience and sufferings that I have to endure, well I used to think it’s that too. But you see, maybe people honestly mean that. After all, I choose what I want to believe, ain’t it..? heheheheh

Now some interesting trivias about my pregnancy;

- Due date is calculated based on the date of the first day of your last period, adding some formulas to it which something like adding here minus there which I have forgotten by now, the result is my husband’s birthday, 19 September. I know it won’t necessarily be accurate, but I still think it’s cool. :)

- According to our gynae when asked of when exactly did the conception happened (sperm entered ovum), it was 1st January 2006. We celebrated at PD, bonking like rabbits. So, it’s practically a ‘New Year Fetus’! I think that’s cool too. My it really doesn’t take much to amaze me since!

Apa lagi ek..

- This might be only coincidental but I personally feel more murah rezeki since the moment I found out I’m pregnant. But then again, it could be just a feeling. Or with the fact that I pray harder since, I don’t know. Whatever it is, I try to always count my blessings and stay grateful for every second of my life.

Just so you know, during pregnancy the hormones gone chaos. Besides actually affecting us physically, some people have eczema (sort of skin allergies), some suffer from gestational diabetes, and many more issues that come and go, apparently it will affect mentally too. I am very the forgetful since I’m pregnant. I might not be the person with the clearest head though before I was, y’know, berbadan dua, but at times I can be so absent minded and this forgetfulness sickens me. That’s why you see loads loads of Post-it stickers sticking to my entire cubicle. I sticked them around, with hope they will stick to my mind too.

Every Saturday in this month is our antenatal ritual, for me and me hubby la. We were briefed of the signs of labour, caring for the baby, breastfeeding (and we got to see this really silly short French documentary that shows OTT impressions of the importance of breastfeeding. It ended with a picture of a stalk of rose being placed next to a gigantic breast, sort of to compare women’s breasts as precious and beautiful as a rose but OMG the presentation is so lame and sad to say.. very foolish and funny). We were also taught the breathing technique and exercises to do during pregnancy and labour. I think every first time parent should opt for this class as in my opinion we really can gain something out of it apart from the books and mini quotes from people around us. It seems that when you’re pregnant though, suddenly people have so many opinions, and they do tell you that. Yes, even from strangers when you’re queuing at the food counter for example, don’t be surprised if you get some "Ini anak nanti mesti kulit dia cantik” or something like "Tak sakit ke pakai sandal ni dik, kaki nampak bengkak tu patut pakai selipar je..” or even “ Banyakkan minum air kelapa sekarang, nak”

..shall I mention again, these came from total strangers.

I’m pretty restless, sometimes annoyed by this waiting game. Accurately, I’m 26 days shy from my exact due date and people say it could happen earlier, much earlier as two weeks before. These Braxton Hicks contractions are tormenting and unexpected, my tummy is so heavy, my hip hurts like mad whenever I walk and I can no more toss and turn on the bed without squawking in pain. Not to mention the mental anxiety.. but well, they say patience is a virtue.

Oh September seems so far away…