Have a break, have a Three Hundred

I'm not sure if 300 is still showing in cinemas. I caught the movie weeks ago with my husband and we enjoyed it to bits.

I highly appreciate a film that shows great spirit, bravery and fiery courage. The tension urgency of their battles, the desperation to stand on their own, their fierce love towards their people and lands..I can go forever listing the touching zest of their undying patriotism.

But good jokes never fail to make my day, no matter what.

Get this.

Frank Miller's 300 Outtakes

Spartan King Leonidas: You wear the crimson of a Spartan...
Hunchback Spartan: My father says it highlights my curves.

Hunchback Spartan: Why?! Why can't I join you?!
Spartan King Leonidas: Dude, can't you see the title? It's 300, not 301.

Clueless Persian Messenger: Why are they all in bikini trunks?
Clueless Persian Messenger: Hmm. We're going to what looks like a pool to me.
Clueless Persian Messenger: Pool party!
Clueless Persian Messenger: But where's the water?
Clueless Persian Messenger: Doesn't matter, I'll just stand by the pool.
Clueless Persian Messenger: Aight, this is where it's happenin yo!
*Leonidas kick*
Clueless Persian Messenger: Aaaaah! Not funny guys! There's no water!

Persian Messenger: Choose your words well, Spartan King.
Spartan King Leonidas: *silence*
Spartan Queen: *silence*
Persian Messenger: Well? Spartan?
King Leonidas: I'd like to buy a vowel please.

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: So where's lunch?

*take 2*
Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: Can I order take out?

*take 3*
Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: With Sizz-
Spartan King Leonidas: God damnit Stelios, say one more witty remark and you'll be getting your dinner sooner than a 30 minute guarantee.

Spartan Queen: Spartan, come back with your shield. Or come back on it.
Spartan King Leonidas: Wait, that's like shield surfing right? Cowabunga, dude.

Spartan King Leonidas: Arcadian, what is your profession?
Arcadian: I play arcade, sir!
Spartan King Leonidas: You, other arcadian dude, what is your profession?
Arcadian: I'm a potter sir.
Spartan King Leonidas: Potter?
Arcadian: *puts on glasses and wand* Potter.

Persian emissary: The thousand nations of the Persian Empire descend upon you! Our arrows WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN!!!
Spartan: Haha. We should start considering inventing sunblock instead. Really.

Spartan King Leonidas: My queen. My wife. My love.
*Arrows attack by the millions*
Spartan King Leonidas: Fuck. How do I explain to her the holes in my shirt?

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! What is your profession?
Spartans: Ahoo! Ahoo! Ahoo!
Spartan King Leonidas (to Daxos) : See old friend? I brought more soldiers than you did.
Daxos: You do realize that your men couldn't even answer properly. Do you?
Spartan King Leonidas: God, I hate you Daxos.

Xerxes: The world will never know you existed at all!
Spartan King Leonidas: Wait till you see the movie they'll make about this.

Xerxes: *While striking a pose on his highness chair* Dig the bling, yo.

"YOU GONNA BE RAPED.."