When the phone line is engaged..

Am now Bigfish’s fiancé.

Yup I know this rosy feeling already lingered for more than a week, but the spark of that day, of that moment his mother embraced the ring to my finger, is as fresh as a blink ago.

March 5. The ceremony went on fantastically. It was a smooth, happy and harmonious occasion. With the flowery decorations everywhere for the joyous mood, and my newly painted house to set the scene, I thought the whole thing was simply beautiful. Many from his side pointed out the event itself was very well planned and organized. They mentioned the food’s great too.

Being an intimate occasion, attended by only our immediate families and a few good friends, it’s a breeze to be attentive to each and everyone of the guests. His family is simply a bunch of really nice people, I see. I took the opportunity to get to know better the cousins, aunts and uncles of his. The parents just as wonderful as ever especially the mom, she even reminded me not to forget to take picture with Bigfish now that I have on my nice white kebaya. I just giggled. In fact, I giggled a lot throughout the occasion.

Why, because for some reason, I was nervous. That’s why I have to laugh as a tool to cover up my panic and frenzy feeling. Imagine a cartoon in white kebaya with lacy gold trim. My embroidered golden yellow shawl that never stopped slipping down from my hair (padahal rambut kasar je macam dawai, taklah sunsilk pun), that finally just settled on my shoulders instead of my head.

Bigfish has three sisters and one younger brother which of course I’ve met all of them few times before . Along’s married with two cute little girls, Angah’s married sometime last year if I’m not mistaken, no kids yet and hubby now recently attached with a UK company residing in London. Bigfish’s younger sist, Kak Chik is the one he’s staying with now in their apartment in Desa Pandan. Apparently, the sisters are all pretty. I’m not saying this because they are the major women in my dear Bigfish’s life, but they really are beautiful sisters and I can’t stop admiring their faces. Hmmm..

The bro is the youngest, recently graduated doing Architecture and now temporarily (I guess) working with the Big Bro in his project management company. In short, when I hang out with the family at Along’s in Alam Damai (which also stands as the family HQ), having tea with them, I feel so at home. The way they talk, their topics, their mentality, their general concern, just like my family. Wait a minute, I think my family is noisier, because we laugh more and louder. My dad can be extremely hilarious at times, and I’m his protégé. Ya, if you know me, I’m a pretty cartoonic person in life, though my writing is dull. Maybe because I always find myself in a slow-wind, peaceful temperament before starting to write anything. Also could be I’ve to be in that state, then ONLY I can even write.

Back to the engagement thingy, after the discussion, followed by menyarung cincin, doa and finally a serving of big spread traditional lunch. Gulai lemak daging, ayam masak kicap, ikan patin masak ompok (this one is really Pahang rooted traditional dish, it’s dry and delicious), sambal udang petai, mixed vegetables and fresh pickles. It was a wholesome lunch. Couldn’t be better.

We did take photos, but not many. Perhaps my brother, Angah who was nominated as the digicam photographer of the day was mesmerized a lot by the entire event (or simply dreaming) and perhaps being complacent with the fact that Adi (my other brother) was capturing the whole thing in the videocam. So really, cinonet je gamba. Speaking of photographs, this I have to apologize because of the delay of the photo loading. Tunggu lah dapat je anak keenam nanti baru taruk gamba betunang ek. Hehehehe, taklah sampe camtu kan..

This previous weekend, me and Bigfish went to this place in Bangsar, Zura’s Academy to experience the ultimate boredom of semi-education majorly obscene continuous speeches. We of course, have millions of other better things to do, but this activity is compulsory. In order you want to proceed to matrimony, that is.

Kursus kahwin.

I never expected the two day so-called course could be more lethargic and sometimes pathetic. I was exhausted by all the craps fed into my brain, I wanted to sleep but we all didn’t even have a decent place to place our bags and stuffs. Now can you imagine sleeping with both your shoulders brushing the strangers’ sandwiching you and all the time making sure your stupid papers and files and bag not slipping from your lap? A big group of matured women being cramped in one small room only provided with a live TV and very uncomfortable chairs. For hours that truly seemed like forever. Exactly about 4 hours straight the longest they can achieve for a session.

It was a great relief the very last session by an ustazah who is also the Chief Kadi of Selangor, think the name is Ustazah Zawiah. Her talk I found productive, motivating and just.. real. I like her and with that is the end of the course. I can almost hear the world sighed when it’s over. Generally the course supposed to be good, but seriously two days of non stop watching old men giving speeches that mainly contain dirty jokes is tiring to me. Not that I’m against dirty jokes (hey, I’m a pervert myself! Hahah) but having it comes from men above 50 that we call Ustaz, and they seem very excited talking about it, some girls even blushed and humiliated, that just don’t translate ‘fun’ to me. That’s about it.

As of now, I’m happily engaged to my lover Bigfish and that matters most.

Have a blissful blessful days people!

That One Day in The Leap Year

As of time of writing, I have known a guy which I call Bigfish for exactly a year and two days.

So far, I like to define it as the most enticing, wholesome and beautiful one year and two days of my life. Rowing upside down and all. I haven’t stop being amazed until right now.

Fuhh haven’t I expected the 29th February of the leap year of 2004 could bring me such a leaping difference in my screwd up little life. Yea I did screw up badly. Empty, no love, and seriously lacking of positivity. Was impatient, mentally stucked in a 19 year old something brain cells and focusless. I was living the moments but I had no specific direction. In short, I looked composed but in fact I was all scattered apart.

That was my second visit to RP Club, Hyatt Saujana. I’ve been there long before with some girlfriends during a so-called scouting around mission for R&B playing music clubs. The first time I crawled in I remember I wasn’t very keen, a mile ahead before the entrance I could see shiny bald heads everywhere like floating talking balls, I thought this club is full of DOM. (Remember DOM?)

Okay, but that’s another story. Last day of February last year, I went there again for my dear housemate’s birthday party, Suzie aka Sooz aka Girl who doesn’t eat nasi lemak. Heading there late with Tini, we were contemplating. The very same time with her party, there’s a gathering of old friends going on in Bangsar which I thought in no way I would miss. Right at the 2-junction between the straight ahead Federal Highway and Subang Airport Highway, my car slightly shrieked, I decided whatever it is let’s just drop by at RP, at least for a while. I made a last minute turning, Tini screamed at me for such a stunt and we headed up to Hyatt. How I wish I had known a turning at a junction resembles a very strong fate working the universe.

We were finally there, many of unknown (yet) Sooz’s friends already crowding the cornered booth where we celebrated. Music was good, the club started to get more crowded, things were about to start to heat up. Me and Tini parted getting our drinks. I was checking out the crowd, when I turned he was already spoken to Tini. Tall, fair, smart casual dressed, a bit tipsy… and he looks so charming. Good looking was not my first impression on him. In fact to be honest, I only realize that he’s quite close to handsome after had been a month together.

I approached the sofa where he was seated to secure myself a seat. I know the cake will be served later and I desperately wanted a piece. O ya, that time I haven’t yet had dinner. I smiled at him, he smiled back, I couldn’t recall who started the conversation first perhaps it was me. Whoever was it, that starting point led to a non stop completely hooked instantly attracted sort of conversation and it lasted for like, 3 hours. Every once in a while he turned to his buddy, that’s Jimy and talked a bit and laughed. Yup, I came to know later from Bigfish they did talk about me. I also learned that Jimy was a wee bit pissed because I was a wee bit rude for not having any attempt to talk to him at all that night, even for courtesy sake. It’s like, c’mon, if u want to hit on my friend, at least be polite and say hi to me. But really people, I completely forgot, I was blinded by Bigfish’s incredible charm, interesting conversation, he appeared so smart and savvy and his scent was soo.. nice. I noticed his hands are so large too, hehe. And a bit hairy.

Tini was already getting comfortable with a cute Chinese waiter who obviously liked her and they seemed to have a good time. Pretty birthday girl in red, Sooz was everywhere talking to her guests and she’s just as she is, always adorable. Everyone seemed so loosen-up, making new friends, guys and ladies, cakes and drinks, it was a beautiful night.

I departed just as the place was starting to close, about 1 am. I thanked him for the great time, and I told him not to call me until I contact him first, that is absolutepurely my style. He paused, looking at my face as if studying it, he said fine *smiling*. He sent us, me and my happy friend Kartini to my humble little car and before I hopped in, I managed to throw a quick goodnight kiss. (I’ve been wanting to kiss that roguish white face since the last 2 hours) He stood there, stunted. I smiled, waived and chiow. My only thought, shit, I’m completely captivated. Shit, shit, shit.

But this is not some lousy dragging Spanish series, it’s me and Bigfish. The next day, I sms him to say hi, then he asked me out for our first date. Accompanied by Kartini. That very same night, he called me again to talk. He seemed to never get bored talking to me and half of the time he’s laughing. He’s very happy!

Starting from that night, he calls me every night (every freakin single night) to talk and to laugh and to tell me how much he miss and love me. How can I not be a freaking happy woman? An adorable smart guy tells you that you’re funny, and you make him laugh and that you make him happy. And finally he confess to you that you complete his life to the point that he cannot live without you.

How do you find our first meeting and how did we get hooked? I made the first move, ya think I did. But as I mentioned before, I didn’t quite know what I want in a relationship. I thought I would just go with the flow and that’s about it. My way is just to see how things come along and making moves from there. Bigfish actually changed my mindset and theory. He likes me at first sight, he gets to know me, his feeling confirmed that it’s not ordinarily mild and that he likes me strongly, then he decided to love me. Once he loves, he loves with all his heart. I recalled after few months together I freaked out because the relationship just went along like a high flying rocket with no destination. It went on and on and on.. I didn’t know what’s gonna happen. So the foolish nut I am, I was scared.

We started having some complications because of my negative twisted mind, most of my friends very know that I once declared that I’m not the marrying kind. I was in a serious confuse state to distinguish my negative self who just want to lavish myself with the love without any life objective, with my alter ego who convinced me that this is the love of my life, what am I waiting for, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, go on marry him!

I finally accepted his proposal that tranquil morning, and slowly myself and my life started to change. As if the decision itself does wonders for my wellbeing. I want to become a better person, I want to nurture my heart with love and optimism, and I just want to love Bigfish like he wants to be loved. We do have fights once in a while but at the end of the day after every teary reconciliation when I wake up inside the nook of his neck I just know that he needs me and I need him. And I don’t need to know anything else but that.

As for Sooz, my dear lovely friend, thank you for bringing love to my life. I know your time will come when you least expect it, I know one day you’ll be delighted until you might think how are you going to bear with the dosage of happiness. It’ll make you breathless, trust me. Happy Belated Birthday to you, eventhough that day only peeks out only once in four years, remember that it always be quadruple extra special compared to other plain normal days. Especially when magical things happen on that day, for instance the birth of you, and the birth of a love feeling. See?

Here’s to our First Anniversary and in two days time, I’ll be engaged to that guy with big hairy hands.

To all of you folks out there, have a good week ahead!