Bunga telur - Part 2

My father once told me, focus on the end factor. Do not scrape back old wounds, the wisest thing I could do to my wellbeing is to forgive and forget.


The following day we were at Medan MARA to check the laser proof of my wedding cards. I brought two sticks of bunga telur along with me. The cards were fabulous. We stopped at a shop that looked crowded with hantaran, trays, glittery flowers and decorative beads were everywhere.

“Kak, ini saya ada bawak sample bunga telur. Berapa ya harga kalau akak buat sama macam ni?”

Belek-belek.

“Yang ni lapan ringgit, yang lagi satu ni lima ringgit.”

She remarked. I’m sure you can guess which one is lapan ringgit and which is lima ringgit.

“Okay, terima kasih”

I went to another shop just to confirm that akak, the one quoted me so cheap prices was not a lunatic. Guess? Same answer, only this time a ‘kak nyah’ that pointed my RM8 bunga telur as RM6 (the first akak RM5 je) , whereas the other one, RM10 bunga telur she/he can do for RM8.

So what do you expect me to feel that time?

I right away called N. Wasn’t picked up. I SMSed.

“Hi N. I am at Medan MARA. There are shops here that apparently can do the bunga telur, exact designs like yours, for cheaper. RM8 and RM5. Like this, if you can’t give me more discounts, is it possible for you to improvise them so that they match their value you quoted me, RM10 and RM8? Thanks.”

Some 10 minutes later.

“ Nevermind if you don’t like, can return back to me. Kalau ko taknak, ramai lagi yang nak.”

Hmm. Not exactly what I anticipated for a reply.

“ Okay then, if you said so. Let me know whenever you’re ready to collect. Thanks.”

Few days later, she sent a quick SMS to check if I was home at some said time to pick up the boxes. I thought, when she got here perhaps we could talk about this because I really didn’t want situation to go sour over some sticks of bunga telur.

But instead of her pulling out in front of my apartment later, a girl that I didn’t know was sent over to do the deed. And so it ended. We never spoken after that. Neither of us called each other again, and the planning during coffee that she was to coordinate my wedding day and so on just left as a bitter bit of the tongue.

There was a small shop at Medan MARA, ran by two pleasant akak-akak that did my bunga telur. Their workmanship was very fine and it’s obvious they loved memorable small details in their work. How nice. The gold ribbons were stringy and fluff, reminded me of candies, the decorative beads, glittery little flowers, I was delighted with the finished products. Alhamdulillah. I still ordered mix though, as I had to control cost from ordering all the expensive ones, 80 sticks of RM12 and RM10.

They had an abundant range of samples to choose from, and I just fell for these little babies, so nevermind lah, though a little over budget. Most important, I was satisfied. I did. And mind you folks, their selections were nothing short of tasteful too. Just a little problem, I gave them quite tight deadline. As I have given N to do them earlier, I didn’t have very much room of ample time anymore before my wedding date.


***************************************

A year later.

A good friend of mine from school and I were chatting over the phone. We covered all the general topics, giggled, talked about my then pregnancy, giggled, I nagged her to tell about her boyfriend, giggled.. yeah, you got it, girl-talk.

I didn’t quite remember how did we come to that but she later mentioned that a bad rumour was going around about me among our ex schoolmates. The rumour (fitnah?) sounded something like this.

I ordered bunga telur from N. N completed her job and two big boxes of bunga telur was delivered to me. Days later, I called N to return back everything because I can’t afford to pay the bunga telur. N was victimised but had no choice because I refused to pay since I didn’t have the money/ out of budget/ whatever. That I didn’t care eventhough all the bunga telur was already done. That I was a bitch-customer and so tak sedar diri, dah takde duit tapi nak beli benda mahal, and in the end, menyusahkan orang lain.

Hmm.

That came from a friend. Not long after that, another friend pulak, “Eh, I heard something la. About you bought something from N pastu taknak bayar. Betul ke?”


*************************************

Dear my friends, readers, whoever you are.

For years I have been keeping this to myself. I accept that being bad mouthed, bad rumours, wild gossips.. they’re all part of life. We really can’t do nothing about it. Why didn’t I fight back, stood on my right, gave them their deserved lash, quarrelled, called everyone to justify myself, make alliance, you ask?

I’m tired. I have a demanding job and a busy life. I have a husband, a little baby, I was fully breastfeeding, I am the house manager, I have to cook (everyday), give instructions to my maid and teach her, I have to do grocery shopping, service my car, plan our weekend activities and I have people reporting to me at work. And I always have Him to turn to whenever I’m feeling sad.

Yesterday, a thought crossed my mind. I don’t mind being bitched about. If it just attack me and me alone. My concern is those who are related to me. What about my family, my husband? Who is going to defend them when something not true like this being spread around and some people actually believed it? What about their dignity?

Those people must wonder, whoever have heard of the untrue version, if Mrs Bigfish can’t pay, what about her husband? Her family? Didn’t they help her? Or were they just as screwd up and irresponsible like her?

That’s the sole reason I write this entry.

Right until this day, I do not know who actually started the twisted version. I don’t quite see the point to find out. Was it N? Or was it somebody else who’s up to tarnishing my image, humiliating me? I understand how sensational story like this sizzles in a girls’ community. So I didn’t blame everyone else who listened and bought it, but on the person who started it, well you must have had a lot of fun putting mud on my name.

I might not forget, but I fully know I have forgiven anybody who did this. As for N, she’s married now and I hope she’s happy and have a good life. I was not invited to her wedding, if you’re wondering.

Thanks for reading.

Bunga telur - Part One

A day after my second anniversary.

A little dash of my wedding reminiscence mode is still there, my friends, readers, whoever you are, I would like to make a clarification on something today.

My father once told me, focus on the end factor. Do not scrape back old wounds, the wisest thing I could do to my wellbeing is to forgive and forget.

It’s not in my slightest intention to dig out a buried memory, especially when it is not exactly a good one, alright definitely not, but I feel for once and for all, let me just tell what had actually happened.

This has taken place somewhere around three months before my wedding day.

Back then, I still stayed at my rented apartment in Subang Jaya. Through the innovation of webs and blogs, I found out that my ex schoolmate, N and a few of her clans were venturing into the wedding business. Cool. They had a blog for their services, and eventhough during that particular time their business fellowship and operations were really very new, I couldn’t help to feel proud and happy for them.

The best thing was, it was at that very time I was in the beginning to start full gear on my wedding preps, the planning, the cards, the decors, flowers, bunga telurs, souvenir gifts. This is perfect, I thought.

I always admire entrepreneurship spirit in young people. These girls were all attached with their full time job, and the wedding business was their brainchild out of hobby and passion.

When we were in school, N and I were not very close. I remember we were classmates though, but she was in my school only until Form 3 before changing school. Ahh those all don't matter I thought, her house is just five minutes away from mine and that should make our arrangements more convenient, and I was happy to support a new business of a friend’s. After all, I thought some more, rather than going to a total stranger and discuss about the most important day of my life, it’d be better to do it with someone I have known. Well don’t you all think so?

After a session of coffee and chat, the first item that I ordered from her was bunga telur. I recalled she was saying about somebody who was delighted and impressed upon seeing their workmanship, so without much fuss I confirmed 80 sticks. As norm has it, I did ask if she could show me some samples. She promised she’d bring that over the next time we meet, and assured me not to worry, because I would surely love their design. I finally ordered a mix of RM10 and RM8 sticks, for 80 sticks.

I was happy to have a peace of mind at least for a small part of the entire preparations. I had so many other things to think about, so a tiny baggage was lifted out of my shoulder.

N worked odd hours. It was an international company and her line of duty involved calling foreign countries so she was free when I was working, while she finished work at midnight, when I had to get up at wee hours the following morning. I remember it was difficult to actually see the samples that she promised to show me. I started to feel like waiting with bated breath.

Finally, she SMSed to go over to her place so she can pass me, not a sample, but how my bunga telur was going to look like, since they have started making them and everything was almost complete. When I received the SMS, there was a mild feeling to pass out, because I had no idea how the damn sticks gonna look like, and I had no choice to just accept them as N said I could collect them in a couple of days or so.

Okay, she passed me one that belonged to RM8 category, a cream coloured tulip (though I felt it was a bit too kuncup) with a string of thin gold ribbons and… well I think that’s it. It was very simple looking and I was surprised to know people were charging RM8 for something like that.

Initially, during the coffee, I mentioned I wanted the bunga telur to look somewhat fluffy.. and I remember using the word ‘kembang and meriah’, as I didn’t want my bunga pahar on the dias to look stiff. So I naturally refreshed her memory on that request, that this one didn’t exactly define my description. She firmly suggested this one was better, because this was the latest trend. As the one yg gembar gembur tu didn't look tasteful and that one simply old style, she stated.

I rationalized to her, of course I wanted them to look tasteful. Why can’t a fluffy bunga telur can’t be made tastefully beautiful? So after a few more exchange of lines, I told her to please make sure the RM10 ones look much better to compensate the simple (lame?) looking their RM8 sisters.

Now, let’s fast forward to collection. She delivered the boxes to my house. My first meeting with the RM10 bunga telur was not much different from the day in the before paragraph. I was slightly shocked but quite heavily disappointed. N was in a hurry during the delivery of those sad looking tulip thingy that laid stiffly in the carton box. Good thing she left early as I couldn’t pretend to like those sticks in the boxes that cramped my small living room. I frowned, and stared at the bunga telur for a long time before putting it back and took a long nap.

Bigfish and Suz my housemate, were sitting at my living room, both with a bunga telur in hand, like it’s a studied specimen. Suz thought they were not bad but the price was a bit like a highly commercialized business. I told her, this is a part time business of my friend, there isn’t a shop or anything. She settled “Okay, then that’s expensive for something like this”. Bigfish looked at the innocent bunga telur closely, “How can the labour cost be 50 or 60 percent of this? I mean, just check out the materials they used to make these.”

“You’re missing the point dear.. it’s not about the price. I just want these things to look nice!” I snapped. But now, they were not exactly pretty, and they were quite overpriced. I felt dizzy.

The following day we were at Medan MARA to check the laser proof of my wedding cards. I brought two sticks of bunga telur along with me. The cards were fabulous. We stopped at a shop that looked crowded with hantaran, trays, glittery flowers and decorative beads were everywhere.

“Kak, ini saya ada bawak sample bunga telur. Berapa ya harga kalau akak buat sama macam ni?”

Belek-belek.

***********************************

To be continued.

When two became one, became three, and more

Two years ago, on this very date, two families gathered celebrating the union of two very different individuals that felt they can live together forever. The two said individuals are still feeling it though, the forever part is not up yet, but it’s been two years.

And loads, I mean loads, had happened within the couple of years. Beautiful things, wonderful things, precious moments, challenging periods… Alhamdulillah we weather the seasons successfully, two in one piece. Yes, we. Me and Bigfish.

I realize that I never wrote about my wedding day. That because I was way surpassed the appropriate timing and mood, and woosh! There it goes. Then it was too late for me to jot anything anymore. Amazingly I happen to catch it today, I still have my luggage of work but it’s alright. I try to actually create a decent post in half an hour. So forgive me for poor construction of lines, be it grammar or coordination. I’m a little disoriented, I feel.

I had my solemnization and reception both throughout the same day, from morning till night event. I remember the exhaustion, but I prefer to think more of the satisfaction and the happiness that last and buried in the deepest core of my heart. I simply love my own wedding. Yeah who doesn’t? Well apparently I know some that remember their wedding day as just another occasion to attend to. I’m not too sure what’s their problem, the couples do love each other very much, if you’re wondering.

Back to my wedding, I planned and organized almost 95 percent of the whole ceremony, preps, props, people and all. Okay, I give credit to Bigfish, of course together with him all along. Everybody offers a helping hand, or a piece of their brain, naturally, but I am more convinced with the way I wanted it to be. I had to have a complete assurance of what to be expected, I knew what came after another, and which followed whatever on the schedule, with all finery and meticulously detailed, by me.

So you can imagine how I took pride of my own wedding eventhough it sucked? Hehe. Thank God, it didn’t at all. It was a parade of scenarios exactly as what I pictured long before the day took place, intimate, personal, merry and beautiful. The day was glowing with happiness. Faces of people I love, and love me, and those of my husband’s. People commented the food was good too! Eh kena sebut tu..penting okay. Stomach – the way to people’s hearts.

My reception was at Saujana Resort, back then it was Hyatt Regency Saujana. That’s the place we first met. The hotel itself brought some sort of sentiment to me, I love the vibes. I always have pleasant feeling whenever I’m there.

How ironic karma can be? And now, Saujana Resort is practically at my office’s doorstep. All we need to do is hop, and find ourselves, the staffs of my office, at the dining table of Saujana Coffeehouse. That might be a little bit over, but the point is, I drive across Saujana Hotel every single day to get to the place that earns me my monthly credit.

Today is my second anniversary. In my prayer last night, I thank Him for the lavish of blessings upon me, I sometimes feel I don’t deserve this. A husband that’s always there, always. A man that after two years living together, can still stare at me when I was dragging my now heavy body from the kitchen to the large sofa, bringing a plate of nachos for him, and when I ask what he’s looking at, “I just love watching you”, he’d say.

Bigfish, I pray for a place in heaven for you, and for all your wishes to come true, and for happiness and contentment to always reside in your soul. I love you darling, with all my heart.

My baby, Aaqil, he’s simply an angel. At tender 9 months of age, this guy already understands “I love you” because he hears it so many times a day. And he now knows how to hug! Going home from turbulent office and to see him squealing with glee is… hmm.. maybe you can complete this one. I could ask for nothing more.

My baby inside my womb, we can’t wait for you to join us in this beautiful world. I love you, my little one!

What I have now, is what I wished for long long time ago. So you think I have no bad days? None suicidal moments at all? Heh you’re wrong. Had plenty.

Somebody told me to count my blessings, sounds like a huge cliché, but once I practiced it, I realize how supremely true it is.