Ramadhan, Syawal and me

O God, give us success in this month to tighten our bonds of kin with devotion and gifts,
Attend to our neighbours with bestowal and giving,
Rid our possessions from claims,
Purify them through paying the alms,
Go back to him, who had gone far from us,
Treat justly he who has wronged us,
Make peace with him who shows enmity towards us except he who is regarded as an Enemy of yours for he is the enemy who will not befriend.........

Islamic Digest Online

And the moon of Syawal is about to rise, indication of the ultimate ‘Iman’ test in Ramadhan have come to the end. Some passed with flying colours, some stuck in the middle, some merry, some weep, and some hampeh like myself. But then, God with all His great loves and fairness over people, we’re still here, right here, some of us writing blogs and express our deeply emotions, some reading it, and I trust we are all grateful, that as many mistakes that we have done, we’re still here, all safe in one piece.

Hari Raya, a very significant event to many, Muslims or not. Suddenly all the eating establishments are crowded with the ol’regulars that were not lunching for a month. And mamak stalls, back filled with Malay youngsters, or elders, who always up to sweet delicious the tarik after a stressful day. And not to mention the day itself, oh we all do know how it normally goes, dress our best, morning prayer, dishes on the table, family gathering, bersalam-salaman, visit the graves etc. Leaving the details of the entire wonderful occasion aside, just listen to the morning takbir Raya. Just listen.

That particular takbir Raya intonation, the rhythm that we only get to hear only twice in a year (including Raya Haji), I don’t know how is it with you all, but it just hypnotizing.. it seems that your whole life flashes against your eyes for a few moments and you’re back at where you’re standing. You look around you see the new colourful curtains, the table with colourful cookies on it, your little grandmother… the ‘insaf’ feeling, y’know. I’d have to tell you that the writer (some of you already perfectly know :) ) is not a good religious individual at all (now is ‘bout religion, next entry you may be seeing ‘bout my review on Zouk!), and yet that ‘insaf’ feeling can happen to anyone, or everyone. It’s beautiful. Being the imperfect human we are, we tend to repeat our mistakes or sins again and again. Well as to being good..i’d have to venture that it sometimes could be the spirit is willing indeed, but the flesh is weak.. ie. malas sembahyang dan sebagainya.

So that’s why some of us, as to what I think, is not exactly baaad people though they are obviously not fulfilling the pillars ie. they don’t pray 5 times a day (if not at all), ponteng puasa, to name two, or obviously err, sinning; like staying together with your unwed partner. Woo.. That is of course between them and God, our connection with God is for no soul to evaluate or to judge. My point here, that’s why I measure people with their hearts. This may sound crappy to some but I believe people with good hearts, that certain kind of glow is visible on their faces. Or just simply shown on their attitude towards people and themselves. They may not be the best of a Muslim, but they might be the best of friend you can ever have. Y’know, something like that. Humans are complicated. Only God can really judge us.

Ever heard of this story about this guy, a thief during Prophet times? A thief he was, bad person he was known as. And this one day he helped a thirsty dog to sip some water that he scooped with his own sandal. And all we know in the end, as per the testament from God to Prophet, all the sins that was done by the thief guy before that incident was forgiven, completely deleted. Bad alternative of living a life, good heart, definitely.

Okay people, just some insights o’mine before us all celebrating the beautiful Hari Raya. Short disclaimer; above is just my mind talking, should there be any different from yours, speaking about opinions, we all have them. Just a note, whatever is good and true, comes from God and the craps, from this fella blogger, of course. :P

Have a wonderful Aidilfitri, everyone!

p/s But really, come the takbir Raya, try to focus and sit still, and just listen. You’ll know what I mean. Even half-evil-dominated me also cair..

Faith is the Name

Oohh..how sometimes life can be pretty tough to live about. Even about simple silly trifle kinda matters. People are actually thinking of how to govern a country, other alternatives to upgrade this rocket engine so that it can buzz in a blink second to the moon, cloning cats and all kinds of serious important worldly impact sorta things….and here lies me, having headache because I think my beloved boyfriend is a..err…mmm…well, sometimes can be such a pain in the arse. There. huh!

I cant find the definite word to start this, but I’d have to say that this boyfriend, my current one, which is the number what-what, hehe, is the one that I seriously think to have kids with in the future (Read: FUTURE) and seriously have faith in the relationship. I mean it, seriously. I never had, I should say, very well reputation in the relationship department. In short, people tend to jump to the easy conclusion that I was a player, but no, not exactly that. I just lived for the moment, savour my past relationships and never committed to have any rosy future planning that normal couples have eg. nak anak brapa, lepas kawin tinggal mana, those kinda stuffs. So yes, I was in several relationships before (no proud of it), but they were ones that just that literally, a long spelling of the word R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P without depths and substance. People might come up and ask why, why last time these things you had with the guys cant be worked out, what’s wrong with them or ultimately, what’s wrong with YOU?

Oh people, there’s nothing wrong with them. It’s me. In fact I just started working after graduated for only about 2 years plus now, and before I was a full time student. So you see, I didn’t want to be one who doesn’t think further, who feels so content in a relationship and get conned with it, and become so comfortable and complacent and be sure that this is it! Or shall I just confess? Yup, I used to be a relationship non believer. That is my weakness, my inability, my drawback. I met great guys who loved me, but I didn’t have the ability to return them the favour, to offer to them this piece of ultimate monument of your soul – true love. No, I didn’t know where I put it, or maybe long long time ago, I’ve used it once, and not wisely, I kept it for too long it gets hidden by my messy piles of emotional baggage, I lost it.

When I met Bigfish, started with just his nice scent, nice smile followed by flowing nice conversation, the rest of the things might sound soo drama swasta or just too cliché for another article you read about it in the world, let’s just leave it aside, and I give myself a mental note that this is the guy that I want. I wont give up the fact that anything could happen to us, with today’s diabolic lifestyle and all, obstacles are just like that sentinels in The Matrix. Simply everywhere. And so, we human beings are just so tiny and fragile to be handling with major complicated things like people’s feelings, lust and temptations, emotional betrayal.. But I have faith. With these 5 letters I’m holding strong to, I humbly pray to God for Him to bless my relationship with Bigfish, and guide us, and show us the way. And even he ever fall out of love, I still appreciate the beauty of this love we’re sharing right now, for it’s too special to just let it quicksilver away, eventhough it will finale with it just on my end, I feel satisfied for having given the chance to taste true love.

Back to Bigfish who must be busy having meetings and appointments right now, he really la… sometimes can be so… I don’t want to make an official statement about it, maybe not yet, here I settle for just, a pain. Ouch!

I’m in no position to advise anything about relationships to others, though I can share my bits of experience for some enlightenment. But I owe some credits to friends who make some significant impressions on me, Seed for holding tight to her love, always an optimist. To you Seed, Mezee is a lucky guy having you at his side. I wish you all the blessful moments be upon you and your husband, you are one of the best lover I know. And my pretty housemate, Suz, which has loads of love to offer but still in the journey, yet to get there, and will get there one day. Thank you for listening to me grumbling over your breads and scramble eggs. And to all my friends everywhere, old and new, current and the ones I haven’t met yet…

here’s to LOVE is a wonderful thing, to each and everyone of us, as long as we clip this little thing dearly to our hearts, which is FAITH.

From your ignorant peep

After being forcefully encouraged by some friends that were earlier informed ‘bout the existence of my blog, and now here I am again, updating, or as what they call it. Phew, it’s been hectic days. O yea, hectic and dark and wet. I think this is quite unusual. Well, as far as I could recall, few weeks before puasa will be cleansed by rain, yes, and during the fasting month itself, oven hot! Unlike this year, we’ve almost come to the end of the holy Ramadhan, all cool and ‘trimmed’. Heheh, but my case, shall I say, 1-2 percent extra wobble in the arms? This during-puasa-can-diet has never worked out for me.

Okay, my guy Bigfish, is up to a huge project patronized by DBKL. He had been tres’ tres’ busy lately, working all day and night, meant literally. He’s on the path of quitting the bank job to give full wholesome concentration of this maiden project of EB Sdn Bhd. I believe this the very first time EB is officially mentioned on the net. Oo, this is on purpose since I strongly believe too, that EB will go very far in the future. Piloted by Bigfish and few of his professional peeps, I foresee very bright potential and would have to make a record here, that EB has nowhere else to go but up. Just up, God willing.

Quite a bit had happened these few days, eh? Bush has won again, up to the suite, Kerry down to the street. To the limo waiting, of course. Hehe, gotta include that. I learn from my surrounding, people around me constantly whining how done they are with Bush being the president, ruling while lagging around in the oval office. So much of him being even a human titled the most powerful man in the world. At the moment strucked the official announcement of the final count of the vote, as if I can hear the whole world sighed. Bigtime, nowhere nirvana sigh. And while everybody’s asking what’s wrong with the American people putting on throne a masked devil, even some fella American blogs rained by this questions about themselves, I’d have to ponder, where are all the supporters eh? Them who actually marked for Bush? Where are they? Okay, of course generally the people is just out there, now savouring the victory, that’s quite easy, isn’t it? No, I’m asking for the individuals. Any commoner who can give statement alone, enlighten us of infos that we not know of about this American-World politic hurly burly. Why Bush? Could somebody speak up and furnish me with simple answer? If the answer always long and complicated, forget ‘bout it. 99 percent shit, harshly said.

I’d have to state down here that I’m pretty ignorant with the political world. My dad is a die-hard. He’s from the political science line that hopped into educational industry to make good of his knowledge bit. I adore my dad beyond words, even sometimes I just tuck myself in the room when he could just go on and on and on about what’s happening in the country, especially, with high enthusiasm and emotions that even my cat can just burst out to bear. Phew, he really knows what’s going on in the world, the people we call our leaders, every fragment in the political world. Turned out to be my boyfriend too cares pretty much, and suddenly I’m the only ignorant girl that people may sometimes interpret as being indifference, couldn’t care less, or just simply dumb..?!

People, allow me to just make a short clarifications on this. I hate the fact that our political world today is just this glam movie filled with corruptions, tarnished with carthartic actions that bring not much to be valued about when we ponder hard about it. You see, when you have MONEY, you can have everything. You can buy people, power, material or immaterial bases and supporters that can push you up there, and ended up being someone we call a leader. Now after looking up high to this someone that already up there ruling and hurting our necks, tilt down your heads, look around you, around us..Violence, rapes, war, all kinds of animalistic actions toward one another. So what, more leaders to keep these things under control? How many more?

And that is why, I’m highly thankful to God that my country, my people, my family, my friends and myself, not forgetting my dogma now, Bigfish.. let us all be grateful that we are not there at the other side of the world, with bombs as music to our ears. The place where when you lost two legs, the commotion effect is just like when we cut our fingers because distracted by Kylie Minogue videoclip while cutting potato.

Our hands are tied when it comes to whatever happen in the world however much it affects our minds and emotions, I doubt the world will ever be in peace. Oh wait a minute, I recall I once learned in kelas agama that the world will be in peace, just a while, before the actual BIG day comes. Y’know the day, when the sun rises in the West. Back to me and my political ignorance, not that I against it, not that I don’t care. I’m just too busy caring for my still-messed-up self and my family, chasing the highest point of my achievement, and I sacrifice the details of the one-hour news every evening. I’ll catch up the important bits from you my friends, when we sit down having coffee later. Oh yeah, that’s why I normally quiet when you people talk about matters from the news (or maybe from other people that you heard it from too!) , what the heck, I was paying attention, you guys are my homely bunch of newscasters!

Till then, cheerio folks.

First splash - Just a spoon drop

Hmm..how i love the smell of a fresh new blog. Is it vanilla splash? Or what.

So dear readers. Here lies Splashing About..which making this day the very first day of myself as a blogger.

The sky looks dark and I know it's going to rain, heavily. Talking 'bout splashing...

Oh well.